the good...the bad...and the ugly.

THE GOOD:
My anniversary of being married 5 happy years to Shane is coming up this Friday.  What a celebration!

THE BAD:
For the past 4 anniversaries, either Shane or I have been treated for some medical issue...read on:

Year 1:  Shane and I celebrated our anniversary in California, and of course, we HAD to go to Disneyland (okay, maybe not "we", mostly "me").  Shane complained all day of feeling sick and lightheaded...and sadly I didn't offer him any kindness or sympathy.  The next day found us in the emergency room, treating a very bad spider bite that was beginning to cause staff infection.  (Sorry baby).

Year 2:  You all remember the awful soccer accident that Shane was involved in that left us not knowing if he would even survive.  Click here to read a bit of what had happened that night.

Year 3:  Shane and I were asked to be a "Ma & Pa" for our stake's pioneer trek.  The morning we left for Wyoming (which was the day of our anniversary) I became very sick.  By that afternoon I was found partly unconscious and quickly hooked up to IV fluids while dressed in pioneer clothes, in the middle of the desert.  We were sent home the next morning!  This whole story makes me laugh.

Year 4:  After an entire year of trying to figure out why I never healed from being sick on trek, I was finally diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and General Anxiety Disorder (any wonder why?  I couldn't let go of Shane's accident).  Right before our anniversary I began treatments.

THE UGLY:
Here we are at year number 5.  Unfortunately, we did not find ourselves with better luck this year.  One week ago, scoutmaster Shane left for a week at scout camp.  That same morning I began having complications with my pregnancy.  I was seen at the hospital for 4 days in a row, having treatments and tests done to be sure the baby was okay, and that he would stay in my body longer!  My Dad gave me a beautiful priesthood blessing, telling me that I would be able to feel my 19 week old baby moving strongly...and that because of his movements, I would be reassured that he was okay.  I am so grateful that baby boy has done just that...I can even feel him kick when I rest my hand on my tummy.  Things have greatly improved after the treatments, and I know that everything is going to be okay.

ADDITION TO THE UGLY:
I was supposed to be leaving this Wednesday with my Mom, Sister, and niece on a trip to Vietnam to be at my cousin's wedding.  Obviously, because of the circumstances, I will not be able to go (something about only being able to see a tribal doctor if something were to go wrong didn't seem like the greatest idea).  My doctor was so apologetic when he told me that I needed to stay home to be monitored, but what he needs to know is that going to Vietnam doesn't even compare to the desire I have for this baby boy to come to our family safe and sound!

BAD & UGLY THINGS ARE JUST BLESSINGS IN DISGUISE:
Is it not true that the Lord only sends us blessings?  Some of them may seem to be hidden in disguise, but all of them are for our growth and betterment.  I would like to think that despite all of the trials we have endured, Shane and I would love each other the way we do now, but I truly believe that it's because of the trials that our love has grown more than we ever could have expected.  The thought of possibly losing our baby has made our love for his tiny body feel like it's going to burst from our hearts.
Maybe the past 5 anniversaries haven't been exactly smooth sailing, but to be honest?  I wouldn't trade them for anything else.

My love, we have five days left to see what other scares might befall us before the big day...let's hold hands, seal it with a kiss, and say...
"BRING IT ON."
I love you.