surgery number six

Surgery number six,

Now hopefully I'm fixed!

Much to Dr. Austin's surprise,

A bone spur was found right before his eyes.

Wore a hole through the tendon,

So it couldn't do much mendin',

But after surgery and 6 weeks of healing,

Back to normal I'll be...

wow, what a good feeling!

Thank you for your love and prayers in my behalf...I am so grateful that I followed the prompting to get this surgery done as soon as possible.

Much love!

xoxo

My Mama...

After reading a friends post about being a mother, I was overwhelmed with emotion as I thought about my own mother...
Starting with Monday, the past week has not gone down in the record book as one of the smoothest, greatest, or happiest. It was filled with slimy oysters (yuck), and nipping crabs (ouch).
Thursday was a particularly difficult day and as I was on my way to go home for lunch I called my Mama. She was busy doing this and that, but of course she didn't hesitate one instant to invite me over to eat lunch with her. As I walked in the door I saw sitting on the table a hot bowl of clam chowder and broiled cheese bread with my Mother walking toward me, arms outstretched. She held me in her arms as I shook and trembled with emotion...as we stood next to the table she didn't utter a word, but magically she seemed to take away from me all my fear, my heartache, and my insecurity.
Since that day I have pondered about the hundreds of other similar occasions that my Mother and I have shared. How is it that with one hug, or one look, she seems to know everything? She knows how I feel, and how to fix it...every time.
How grateful I am for my Mama.
I love you Mom,
Always have,
Always will.
xoxo

More of Ecuador

Here are just a few pictures from our medical mission in Ecuador. I apologize, but they are in backwards order! Enjoy!

The patients are brought here to recover after surgery. Only some of them are able to go home with some medication, and the ones that do get medication only take home a few tylenol. Each guardian of the patient that received the medication was always wide-eyed with gratefulness.

Here is a picture of Dr. Rob Ferguson and Shane in one of many surgeries. In this surgical case they were fixing a deformed hand. Their operating room had no windows, no air conditioning, and no working equipment (including tables). When you walked into the room it looked misty from the amount of humidity that filled it.

These are the doors to the operating rooms. Every door in the hospital looked very similar to this! From the inside of the doors bunches of peeking eyes could always be seen through the broken glass.

The little girl wearing pink pants (Derineya) was able to have surgery done on her cleft palate during the medical mission in 2009. She and her family were at the hospital all week giving love to families there. One afternoon Derineya came searching for me in the hospital...once she found me she took my hand and led me outside. She then pointed to a drawing done with the sidewalk chalk I had given her. It was a big heart and inside it she had written, "KENZIE, LOVE YOU". Her mother said in Spanish that it had taken her all afternoon to figure out how to say it in English. Words can't explain how that made me feel!

On the first day at the hospital, hundreds of patients line up outdoors waiting to be seen by our team of doctors. This picture is taken outside the door to the clinic with one of our anesthesiologists (Dr. Butch Parker) walking out. Notice how tiny all of the Ecuadorians are!

We were so ready to get to work! This was our first day, getting ready to head to the hospital.

Our first few days we spent in Quito, the capital of Ecuador. Quito actually marks the center of the world, and here Shane and I are standing right on the Equator! It really was amazing.

This is outside one of the cathedrals in Quito. All of these people are homeless, waiting for food from the church.

Outside the presidential palace we came across this sweet little fellow! We asked for a picture and he willingly said yes :) Again, look how little he is!

On one of the days in Ecuador we took a day trip to a city in Otavalo with our friends, Dr Rob Ferguson and his wife Andrea, and also Heidi and her husband Dr Butch Parker.

Otavalo presents a big market every Saturday and Sunday. They sell a ton of homemade goods like necklaces made from acai seeds (above), carved gourds, weaved bags, wooden nativities, vegetables, meat, etc.

This was our view outside the window of our hotel room in Quito. Check out that traffic!

We made it to Ecuador! This was taken right as we arrived at our hotel in Quito at about 1 in the morning. We had to take those two blue bins which were stuffed with medical supplies with us on the airplane.

Thank you for your prayers while we were in Ecuador! We miss it and can't wait to go back.

Medical Mission Ecuador

For ten beautiful days we were captured by the pure happiness of the Ecuadorians.
Hundreds of children, teens, and adults all traveled miles hoping to be cured of their deformities by our team of magnificent doctors...and even though only a fraction of those people were able to receive surgery, all considered themselves blessed to simply be seen by our American staff.

How is it that we can have everything, but have nothing at the same time? My heart was in shock as I watched those sweet, happy, pure, and respectful Ecuadorian people meander throughout buildings and roads without shoes, without food, carrying loads of goods to sell or babies on their backs...they are people with nothing, but have absolutely everything. The best part about it is that they know they have everything...they have a family, everyone is a friend, they have the sun, the rain...what else matters?

What else does matter I ask? Our fancy homes, the ten (or more) pair of shoes in our closet, the water that comes out pure and clean out of every faucet?
Not to the Ecuadorians...
LOVE everything.
keep a PRAYER in your HEART.
find a FRIEND in everyone.
discover a BLESSING everywhere.
be HAPPY for who you are.

As I step back and take a panoramic view of my life it is clear to see that material things tend to cloud cover the important things. Without needing to utter a word, the people of Ecuador have taught me numerous lessons... I will always be grateful for that.

keep love in your hearts...xoxo

Our little Dukie...

We have a kitty that has MANY talents...

He climbs into Daddy's arms while he's praying...

Tests out the sleeves of Daddy's jacket to be sure they're warm enough...

Stays out of Mommy's way while she vacuums...

(Duke was so terrified of the vacuum that he hid underneath every pillow on the bed!)

Protects Mommy's make-up EVERY MORNING...

Sleeps like a CHAMP

(If you can't tell...)

And loves to bask and play in the sunshine every afternoon.



Shane and I love Duke so much we can't even believe it! It is going to be so difficult to leave him for ten days...I can't imagine how all those mothers feel leaving their children for even a couple of hours!

We love you Duke!

We ain't done yet!

Five sugeries down but one more to go

this darn recovery is moving so slow!

.

Please jaw cooperate, let this one work

Because at this point I'm going berzerk.

.

Don't misunderstand, I love my new bite

but this little joint just isn't quite right.

.

March the thirtieth is the day,

I hope this is it, oh I plea and I pray!

.

Open it up, clean it all out

Then sew me back up without any doubts!

Pretty Please?

xoxo

What's your excuse?

For the past three years, I have been a big supporter of public transportation. After Shane and I got married, he too jumped on the boat with me on the subject. For my birthday in 2008, I got a bike to ride to and from work...not only would it save some money, but I would be decreasing the amount of harmful chemicals that plague our earth today. Shane and a few fellow employees made use of the awesome carpool lane on the freeways on their commute to Murray and back. Shane also uses the Frontrunner train and UTA buses to and from school, all in hopes of making the small difference in improving our air quality. Shane and I also love to walk to church...just one more small way to prove that we don't NEED our personal vehicles.

This past sunday was cold. And foggy. And the air was filled with pollutants. And we were almost late for church. "Can we please take the car to church today?" was my plea to Shane. After just slight hesitation he agreed...with that crappy air it wouldn't be good to walk anyway. We hopped in the cold car and as we pulled out of the driveway we saw our friends, Marianne, Chris, and their adorable baby Camden, all wrapped up and WALKING to church. Shane and I looked at each other and knew we both had the same thought in mind... what was our excuse for driving to church? We live ONE BLOCK AWAY...it takes just as much time to drive as it does to walk! We complain about the smog filled air...well what did we think we were doing? Our friends live at least triple the distance away from the church, if not more...I hope they realize what an awesome example they have set for Shane and me. They walked to church when Marianne was overdue with Camden, they walk when it rains, they walk when it's hot, they walk when it's foggy, snowy, and cold.

We have NO excuse...

Help us reduce harmful carbon emissions...walk, bike, carpool, and make use of our public transit systems. We all want a healthy world to live in!

Surgery number 5...are we done yet?

(Shane & I decided that it would be good to have this post for our records - not for sympathy votes! Thanks!)

THE LONG PROCESS GOES AS FOLLOWS...

JUNE 2007: Wisdom teeth are removed to open space for jaw surgery incision

DECEMBER 2007: Braces are put on to begin realignment of teeth

MARCH 2008: It is discovered that a tooth implant will be required to have complete function of mouth but there is not enough room for the gum advancement. A gum graft is required.

APRIL 2008: Gum graft on lower four teeth accompanied by a tongue clip is completed

JUNE 2008: Advancement for tooth implant begins

FEBRUARY 2009: Gum advancement is completed, date of surgery is set.

MARCH 2009: Tooth implant is fixated into lower right jaw bone; upper jaw is separated, shaved down, and fixed back into place with 4 titanium plates and 18 screws. Mouth is wired shut to help with healing.

MAY 2009: Return to work; begin to chew soft foods; upper teeth, lips and cheeks are still numb.

JUNE 2009: Braces come off!

JUNE 2009: New braces are put on...

JULY 2009: Beginning to regain normal smile.

OCTOBER 2009: Braces come off, again!

NOVEMBER 2009: MRI completed on left jaw joint to research why it is locked.

DECEMBER 2009: Left jaw joint is operated on to remove excess fluid.

JANUARY 2010: Jaw therapy begins, to be continued twice a week for the next six weeks.

While in recovery from my last surgery I supposedly requested a picture with my amazing oral surgeon, Dr. Blaine Austin. I have felt so blessed to have Dr. Austin be the one working with me...I will be very honest, the hardest part about all of this is having someone work on my FACE; my IDENTITY. I had so many questions...will I ever look the same? Will people still recognize me? It was difficult to put my trust into someone who would be dealing with the precious parts about ME. Before I went in for my maxillofacial surgery, I realized that Dr. Austin cared just as much about who I was as I did. I have been able to see Dr. Blaine Austin for almost 3 years now, and I feel lucky for that! He made a promise to me that he would try to calm my childlike fears of surgery and make me feel comfortable with the subtle changes in my face, my smile, and the way I can eat...I think the only thing that needs some work now is my fear of surgery!

Thank you to all of those who continue to support Shane and I in this seemingly endless recovery!

XOXO

A flash of red & white...throw in a little gray too.

After Nutcracker auditions follow weeks full of hard work, sore muscles, and building new friendships.

I am the lucky teacher for the energetic Candy Canes...and it may just be my biased opinion, but wouldn't you say they are simply the best part of the performance? :)

These 10 girls worked harder than I've ever seen young dancers work...and every minute of the blood, sweat and tears was completely worth it.

And who wouldn't be able to applaud for such cute girls?

I enjoyed every minute of every practice and performance with these dancers...

I have also missed those monday nights and saturday afternoons being crazy with them!

Until next year...have sweet dreams of sugar plum fairies, soldiers, and sweet candy cane hoops!

********************************************************

Isn't this just the cutest little ball of gray you have ever seen?

He and Shane are best buds...Duke loves to help him with his homework (really just searching for some way to entice Shane into rubbing his little belly...)
After which he can't help but fall right asleep...anywhere he may be.

We sure do love you Duke...

Thank you for being such a fun part of our family!

xoxo

Meet Duke

The newest member of our family!

Duke was born on 9.10.09

And had us captivated at first sight...

His quiet mischievousness,
And calm, lovable personality,
Make him the perfect kitty!

Shane and I are so glad we decided to adopt little Duke...
he has been nothing but a little angel for the past 12 hours!


lots of love baby Duke...xoxo

I love the man he is...

SURGICAL TECHNOLOGIST OF THE YEAR 2009

-SHANE STRATFORD-

My hubby holds many good qualities worth emulating...two of those qualities are his determination and love of hard work.

2009 has not been the easiest of years for Shane.

While working and going to school full time (which alone is hard enough) he took great care of me after my jaw surgery, feeding me, keeping track of all medications, and keeping me company while I couldn't talk or even give him one little kiss for over 8 weeks.

Soon after that tough time, Shane endured a much greater trial. During those 4 long weeks he never complained, and always kept his chin held high, looking forward to the day when he could return to work. Striving to keep his memory secure, he worked harder than ever to be the best surgical technologist he could. Despite all odds, Shane did just that. He exceeded the goal, just as he always has.

How blessed we both are Shane!

Thank you Moms and Dads for supporting and helping us through the thick and tear filled days...we owe many of our smiles to you.

Dad & Mom Stratford, Shane & Kenzie, Mom & Dad Ferguson

Shane sometimes I look at you and can't believe you are mine.

ALL MINE.

I love you to the stars and back...a million times!

all my love, xoxo

Just let it go...let it all go.

Have you ever taken the time to be a kid again? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to practice the activities you were involved in as an adolescent? Have you ever thought about how much you miss it?

Well, I have.

I taught a ballet class tonight in the very studio that always brings back a flood of memories with every smell, every lightswitch, and every beat of music. As the last dancer walked out the door I began my normal nightly routine of closing up the studio...I flipped the lightswitches off, I picked up extra messes, and pulled my keys out to lock up. I stood at the doorway, looking back into that large open space, seeing images of me with my friends working up a sweat, learning, falling, and DANCING together.

Soon I found myself with a few lights back on... I slipped on my ballet shoes, and I DANCED. I know I may have looked ridiculous to anyone who may have seen me, but it didn't matter. During those few minutes I let myself go, I embraced the past. It felt so good to engage myself in something that I love...I still have so much passion over such a challenging sport.

I realized how good it is to just let go.

Just let it all go.

I did...

Now it's your turn!

much love, xoxo

A picture unloads a thousand emotions...at least for me.

As I try to reflect back on the eventful night of July 7, I find it nearly impossible to control my heartfelt emotions.
After many sleepless nights filled with haunting scenes - flashbacks of living a complete nightmare, I am still struggling to overcome what I witnessed almost 3 months ago. Although these pictures don't seem to capture the emptiness and loneliness I felt that night and even weeks after, they are a reminder to me of the pain, the suffering, the lack of confidence, and most importantly, my feelings of love for Shane, no matter what happened or could have happened to him.

The moment Shane was hit an eggplant-sized subdural hematoma grew above his left eye. Because of the impact on his brain and the bleeding that occurred, he had no control over his body, his emotions, his words, thoughts, his memory...
everything.

All eight members of the soccer team had to hold his body as still as they could, attempting to overpower Shane's sudden excessive adrenaline. The image I have burned in my brain of this moment is too difficult for me to recall. Fearing for his life, the paramedics quickly contacted life-flight. I watched as my husband, not knowing who I was or why I was there, had his jersey cut off, IVs attached to him, became immobilized to a board and swiftly was shoved into a helicopter.
As I met up with him an hour later at the hospital he looked just like this...lifeless. He'd lay with his eyes half open, not focused on anything...not moving a muscle, not even a twitch. After a minute of this, he would burst into frustration, attempting to pull off every cord and every monitor as we struggled to keep him calm and explain, again, what had happened to him. Then again...lifeless. Completely terrified, lonely, and lost...this is how I felt that night in the hospital. By three in the morning all family members were asked to leave, and I was left in a cold, dark hospital room staring at the person I had given my life to...the seemingly lifeless person who couldn't remember who I was from one minute to the next. I cried, I waited, I prayed.
I wanted to kiss the sun as it awoke, and as it peaked over the east mountains Shane opened his eyes and said...
"KENZIE..." What a miracle.
Although it was still unknown what Shane's injuries would do to our lives, he was okay...WE were okay.
After leaving the hospital Shane was able to come home. He slept for about a week straight, and wasn't able to do anything on his own. This is how he looked most of the time! Some of the bleeding on his brain drained down into his eye making it look almost black.

How grateful we are, and how blessed we feel for Brian's blessing during the complete nightmare we lived the night of July 7th. We both know that it is because of that priesthood blessing that Shane is not only here today, but doing incredibly well!

Thank you for your love, your prayers and your faith.
Thank you for all those times that you took my hand or picked me up off my feet and walked with me along this journey...
I could never have done it without you.

xoxo

Mat and Brooke said...

What a beautiful post Kenzie!
You will always be so glad that you wrote down that experience in such fine detail. Because soon, the details will slip from your memory and it will all become a blur.
Our family has such a love for you and Shane and we're SO grateful that you're such a big, wonderful part of our lives!
I love you!

Sunday, October 04, 2009 

Karla said...

Hello Sweetheart, this is Mom. What a beautiful, heartfelt post. How grateful all of us are for the two of you. I'm so sorry that you still struggle with images of that dreadful night and I pray that that part of this whole ordeal will one day be only a strength to you. I love you, Mom.

p.s. It's so nice to see some new posts. I love it...

Sunday, October 04, 2009 

Nina Serene said...

Your post made me cry a little. I just can't even imagine what that would be like. You are such an amazing person. I can't believe all that you handle in your life. You are such an amazing example to me. I just love you, and I am so glad that Shane is doing well!

Monday, October 05, 2009 

Bryan and Allie said...

Kenz, I am so glad to hear that things are going better and Shane is safe. What a tragic accident. I cannot even imagine being in your shoes. We continue to pray for you guys. We love you both.

Monday, October 05, 2009 

meleah said...

What a post. I am sure it took a lot out of you to put all of those feelings down. I am glad that you would share them. Being far away I feel like I miss out on being around. I think you are amazing in many many ways, going through this as strongly as you have is just one of them.
Love ya Kenz!!!

Tuesday, October 06, 2009 

Just dandee said...

You express your emotions beautifully. I am so glad you wrote all this down. You will be glad you did. You are an amazing addition to our family, Kenz. Thank You for loving Shane so deeply. Thank You for caring for him. I am so grateful he is recovered. It really is a miracle. Love you both.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009 

Luke&Megz said...

hey kenz! I found your blog through lauren's! Ok so your post my me cry...a lot. You are a beautiful writer and I'm so glad Shane is ok. You two are a wonderful couple and Heavenly Father knew that Shane needed to stick around so you two could be such a great example to other couples...to me. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever, but at least I got to see pics of you on your blog! lol. You're the greatest Kenz, thanks for being someone I can look up to and a friend I can depend on always helping me be better!

Sunday, October 11, 2009 

Summertime and Backpacking Trip

ReAL SALT LAKE SOCCER GAME

On July 24, Shane's dad took the family to the ReAL Salt Lake soccer game at the Rio Tinto Stadium. It was an awesome game! Little did Shane know at this time that the entire soccer team was aware of his soccer accident, and planning exactly what they wanted to do to lift my very own husband's spirits. Just a week after the game Shane got a surprise!

A ReAL Salt Lake Jersey!! The co chairman of the team heard about Shane's accident and brought it to the ReAL team. The team decided that this is what they wanted to give to Shane...
An All Star jersey signed by each member of the team...
A ReAL Salt Lake soccer ball signed by each member of the team...
And a few other collectable items.
Shane just about died! It was so neat to see him recieve these gifts! Thank you ReAL!

BACKPACK TRIP TO THE WIND RIVERS!

The waterfalls were so beautiful! Shane fished both days we camped, and was successful! It was my first time eating fish and actually enjoying it...he must have known which ones to catch :)

On the second day we ventured out on a long day hike discovering many crazy things!

1. It is possible for 9 people and 1 small dog to boulder hop rocks the size of large cars right on the edge of a cliff! Over...and over...and over again...

2. There is a massive jungle located right in the rocky dirt covered Wind Rivers! I mean check out the...

3. MASSIVE MUSHROOMS! There were only about a dozen of these mushrooms (or should we say pumpkin pies?) lying right in the moist, mossy covered ground. Compare that baby to my foot! It's huge!

This was my first time ever backpacking and I was astonished at how much I actually enjoyed it.

The food was VERY tasty...really.

I discovered beautiful parts of this earth that I never knew could exist

I accomplished something I have always wanted to do

And the best part was being able to spend 3 full days with my love...

Now who would complain about that?

...xoxo...